BIG BROTHER 4 AT GARDENCROFT--

4 AT GARDENCROFT

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JONS TIPS ON WOMEN!!

Jon seems like a nice enough bloke – he’s softly spoken, intelligent and dreams of sailing around the Mediterranean. But the poor fella says he hasn’t had a girlfriend for 10 years. So where’s he going wrong?

Well, here at icircle, we think we’ve identified a few areas in which Jon needs to do some work in order to improve his ‘luck with the ladies’. Some of them may seem a bit harsh but if Jon really wants a special someone to join him on that fantasy cruise, he’s going to have to face the truth…

He’s scared of commitment. Fair enough in a 21-year-old, understandable from someone who’s been hurt in the past – but at 29, he needs to get his act together. He says he wants a partner who’s intelligent, honest and thoughtful – but if there’s the slightest hint of things getting serious, he always runs away. Sorry Jonno, but any woman with an ounce of intelligence isn’t going to want to get involved with a commitmentphobe like you.

He needs to work on his dress sense. Jon has been walking round the house wearing a shirt emblazoned with the slogan: ‘Made by God, Loved by Women’. Which women, Jon? Where are they? Tell us!

He's setting his sights too high. In a cosy bedtime chat with Cameron, Jon expressed concern that if he got married, he might meet someone better three years later. But then again, Jon, you might not. Sometimes you've just got to take that gamble...

He plays golf. Always a bit suspect in a man who’s under 30 – it smacks of being a workaholic with a penchant for Pringle jumpers. It also suggests that you don’t want a woman – you want a caddy!

He’s too serious. When Big Brother announced the pedalo task, Jon rushed straight to the kitchen to get a wooden spoon then insisted that, to avoid everyone squealing at once, housemates were only allowed to talk when they held the spoon. It may have been a good idea – but somehow he just reminded us of a humourless schoolteacher. And who wants to date one of them?

He’s a bit boring. And when we say ‘a bit’, we’re maybe being charitable. The data strategy manager has worked out a mathematical theory which likens picking the right woman to choosing prizes off a Generation Game-style conveyor belt (no, we didn't understand either). And apparently he's already fulfilled one of his lifelong ambitions, which was to sit in a chair for 24 hours. Whatever next? Lying on the sofa for a week? Watching TV for a month? Oooh Jon, you hero!

That massage thing’s not working. While we like a man who’s good with his hands, his massage-a-thon with Justine doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Neither of them look like they’re enjoying it: in fact, they look mildly embarrassed. Come on, Jon – it’s time to showcase your sexy chat-up lines…

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